Desperately Wanting
by manhattanProject
Summary: She had something to prove to her mom, to herself, to the girls in the sorority, and to everyone that has ever tried to bring her down and tell her she wasn't good enough. And Mitchie understood that better than anyone. One shot/Song-fic. Alex/Mitchie


**A/N: Hey guys, I have a one shot for you. Alter The Ending is still going to take a while to update I just need a break from writing that story. So I decided to post this in the mean time. I do have another one shot currently in the process of being written so we'll see what happens next.  
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**It's a song-fic (sorta) to the song Desperately Wanting by Better Than Ezra. It doesn't follow the song _exactly_; it is based off of one interpretation of the song lyrics (which I believe the lead singer said wasn't true but all the other interpretations were unoriginal and I LIKE BEING DIFFERENT)**

**This is once again a new style of writing for me seeing as I have never written a one shot before (it's lengthy, just a heads up) and there is no point of view. It is written entirely in the third person which I am not used to so I hope I did a good job with that.**

**I stray from the song lyrics a lot but I incorporated all of them into it. I just...expanded on it I guess, since nowhere in the song does it ever mention or hint at a romantic relationship, so I winged it.  
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**Also be mindful that thi_s _is a work of fiction and anything I mention pertaining to Greek life that happens to be false or inaccurate...you should just let it go lol.**

**I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the outcome of this story but maybe you could share your insight.**

**Review!  
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><p><em>(University of North Texas – Denton, Texas)<em>

The cold rain poured down hard as the setting sun begins to fade behind the almost ominous house in the distance. Those three letters stood proud in front of it to welcome anyone, that is, anyone who is _worthy_. To everyone else, predominantly a decent sized group of hopeful teenagers, it was a constant reminder that they are not wanted; for the time being, anyway. The sound of water hitting the ground is accompanied only by the harsh sloshing of worn out sneakers in the mud and the faint taunting from fellow students.

A young girl at just barely nineteen years old planted the palms of her hands in the damp field beneath her, struggling to regain balance. Her knees, exposed from her shorts and scraped with a layer of dirt, ached and burned. She tried to move but after pushing herself for so long already she collapsed back to the ground.

Other girls around the same age as her dash past in a wet and tired blur. She gathers enough energy to bring one knee to lift her body up but all she can do is breathe in as much air as her lungs can take.

Somewhere on the sidelines, in much more suitable clothing for the torrential downpour, one girl in particular watched the teenager slowly regaining her strength. She looked on with the utmost apprehension and, perhaps, hope.

"Come on, Alex," she whispered in a barely audible voice. "Get up." Her eyes locked on the younger girl just as she dug her old running shoes into the mud and kicked off, picking up her pace almost instantly. An involuntary sigh escaped the girl and she felt relief wash over her when Alex finally caught up to the others.

"They're not as slow as last year's, huh Mitchie?" The older girl snapped out of her trance and faced the blonde as she approached her.

"Yeah, I'm surprised most of them even finish because they fall so many times. Last year so many people gave up," she responded, expertly hiding her slight melancholic tone. Remembering how cruel some of the tasks used to be upset Mitchie deeply. So much has changed since it was her time.

"Whatever, these pledges need to buckle down 'cause we got a hell of a week in store for them." There was a malicious undertone that came with the blonde's words and that along with the frigid air sent a chill down the brunette's spine.

"Don't you think these tasks are just a little ridiculous, Cass?" Mitchie asked, wanting to knock some sense into her sister. Her heart broke seeing these poor girls suffering.

"Not at all. Remember what kind of crap _we_ had to do? It's only fair they go through the same."

"This isn't the _same_; it's _worse_, and you know it." Her argument fell upon deaf ears, and she was well aware of that. Still, she couldn't help but try every now and then. It was worth a shot.

"Don't be such a hypocrite, Mitch. Now, c'mon, they're almost done." Without another word she turned on her heel and headed towards the nearby house. Mitchie shook her head and pulled her hood forward more before shoving her hands into her pockets and following after the retreating blonde.

She carefully eyed the younger girls already waiting on the front lawn, scanning the small crowd for only one brunette. A small smile finally reached her face when she spotted the one she was looking for: Alex Russo.

Mitchie had always kept a close watch on Alex Russo. When pledging first began she instantly had taken a liking to the nineteen year old. There was a spirit about her and something hidden behind those alluring brown eyes of hers that made Mitchie feel like there was more to her than just a pretty face.

Her dark hair, tied back in a ponytail, dripped water down her already soaked back. The rain hadn't let up yet. It only poured harder as the final girls of the bunch made their arrival, dreading what they knew was inevitable for not running fast enough. Mitchie looked to Alex standing with mud-covered arms and legs and a drenched red t-shirt and black shorts.

"Hey, Alex," she greeted once she made her way through the winded and exhausted group of students. Upon hearing her name, Alex turned to find the older brunette walking towards her. She tried to calm her already racing heart for fear of it beating even harder once they made eye contact.

"Hey um, Mitchie…oh, uh…" she began to stutter and fumble over her words as her thoughts cluttered in her mind. She wracked her brain for the information she needed but her head was pounding from her depleted stamina. She knew what she had to say, she knew it by heart, but standing in front of the other girl always seemed to make her nervous. "Mitchie Torres, twenty-one, third year junior…broadcast journalism, uh…" she trailed off trying to remember if she left something out but all Mitchie did was breathe out a light laugh.

"Don't hurt yourself," she teased as a blush crept up on Alex's face, burning her cheeks with a deep shade of red. She hated looking foolish in front of the junior but she somehow always managed to do so regardless. "I really hate when you guys do that."

"I-I'm sorry," she managed to spit out, unsure of the formal way to respond.

"Relax, I'm only messing with you. I just meant I think it's a stupid rule," she reassured the flustered girl in front of her to which she actually eased up a little. "You okay? I saw you having some trouble out there." Although Mitchie was truly concerned, Alex mentally scolded herself for once again messing up in her presence.

"Yeah, no I'm fine…just a scratch." She tried to sound as casual as possible but with her kneecaps burning from the inside out it was getting harder to do so without wincing in pain every so often.

"Are you sure? Because you're bleeding," she pointed out and Alex looked down to see the damage done. Just south of her shorts her legs were covered in a mixture of rain, dirt, grass, and…evidently…blood.

"Oh, uh, that? That's nothing; I don't even feel it." Her false confidence seemed to pacify Mitchie a bit but she still looked at the teenager skeptically. Before she could argue any further the blonde she was previously chatting with stood in front of all the other young girls, all clad in a wardrobe similar to Alex's.

"Congratulations to the pledges that made it back on time. For those of you that didn't well…we'll just deal with you later tonight." The blond spoke with the authority of a ruthless dictator. Cassie Bishop was always a headstrong girl but more often than not she abused her power. She had taken it upon herself to use this new authority of hers as a method of vengeance, seeking out her own personal vendetta against the innocent newcomers who had no idea she had been scorned by others such as herself a few years ago. It wasn't fair but no one would dare say anything of it.

"I-I made it, right?" Alex whispered to Mitchie, not entirely sure if her little slip ups had cost her success.

"Yeah, don't worry, I was keeping time. You're good." She exhaled a breath she wasn't aware she was holding but then again she didn't even know she had any air left in her at all after running for miles. "Don't look so shocked; you're a lot faster than the others. You don't give yourself enough credit, Alex." At the compliment, the young pledge felt her heart flutter knowing she hasn't made a _complete_ fool of herself. It even sounded like the older girl was…impressed.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." Mitchie was always kinder to the pledges than her sisters were. Not all of them shared the same borderline evil mindset as Cassie but they were close enough. It was dangerous, however, to show that kindness all the time. Pledges were to be seen as less than human in comparison to those already in the sorority. Mitchie knew firsthand that the process was a grueling one that took a lot of determination and lot more strength both physical and mental…and, sometimes, even emotional.

"I should probably go back to my room and change and…clean up," Alex said once Cassie was finished talking to and insulting some of the pledges. After learning her tasks were completed for the remainder of the day all Alex wanted to do was take a shower and pass out in her bed. Before she could walk away and fully leave, Mitchie felt something inside of her pull her towards the teenager.

"Alex, wait!" she called out, not really knowing where she was going with this but all she knew was that she didn't want her time with the younger girl to be over just yet. "Are you busy later?" she asked with a smile that didn't give away just how hopeful she really was. Alex, on the other hand, struggled to hide how shocked she was that a beautiful girl like Mitchie actually wanted to know of her plans.

"Um…n-no, not really," she stammered after the realization hit her that if she admitted to not having any plans she might actually have to spend time with the junior. And that alone was enough to make her too nervous to speak. But she knew in her heart that this was an opportunity she just had to take.

"Would you want to maybe go grab coffee with me later? You know…after you change."

"I...I uh, yeah...yeah that sounds good," she said finally, cursing herself for not being able to successfully utter a single coherent sentence but she was unaware that Mitchie actually found her nervousness quite endearing. She brushed back a few stray strands of wet hair sticking to her face and offered a smile to the shy pledge.

"Great, so do you want me to meet you at your dorm or you want to just meet up at the Starbucks on campus?" Alex didn't need to think twice. Being alone with the junior in her room would surely just bring her more anxiety than she is currently enduring. At least when they go out they won't be the only two people there. The last thing she needed was another opportunity to make a fool of herself although that was most likely guaranteed to happen anyway.

"I'll just meet you there. There's no sense in making you make two trips," she told her and had to hold in a sigh of relief. She had surprised even herself at getting through a whole two sentences perfectly for once.

"Alright, so how does nine o'clock sound?" It was only around quarter to eight but she figured the younger brunette needed ample time to properly clean and tend to her legs' wounds. She didn't want to make her rush for a simple outing.

"Perfect," she agreed with a smile of her own before her body shook ever so slightly causing her teeth to chatter. The rain was relentless and with the added wind it was going to soon turn Alex into a shivering mess. She didn't want to let it show though but Mitchie caught the discomfort and decided to offer her sympathy and, seeing as that her sisters and the other pledges have cleared the area, her sweater. "Here take this, you must be freezing."

"No, I can't." She reluctantly refused the article of clothing knowing full well that it was strictly against the rules for Mitchie to be offering assistance as much as it was against the rules for her to be wearing anything but a t-shirt and shorts in the cold weather.

"Alex, the run's over. You don't need to stay like that. Besides, no one's here." Her argument seemed valid enough but Alex wasn't sure if this was legitimate kindness or just a test. Mitchie was probably the nicest of all the older sorority members though; it wasn't unlike her to try and help out a pledge even though she isn't allowed to.

"I don't know..."

"C'mon, just take it. I won't tell anyone. It'll be our little secret," she added with a smile that came off an awful lot like a smirk but her warm, brown eyes eased Alex's nerves just in the slightest and she found herself reaching to meet Mitchie's extended hand.

"Thank you." She slipped her rain covered arms through the sleeves and was instantly greeted with the lingering body heat left behind by the older girl as well as her scent. The combination of the two created an aura of overwhelming comfort that engulfed Alex like a loving embrace she has not felt in years and almost lulled her to the point where she felt like she could possibly fall asleep in the middle of the cold, damp field they were currently standing in the middle of.

"No problem. So...Starbucks in an hour?" Alex nodded in response for fear of her luck in proper sentence structure running out. "Awesome, I'll see you then." Without waiting for a reply, she turned around and left the nineteen year old standing in the rain with a smile on her face.

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><p>The small coffee shop was surprisingly never too crowded at night and Mitchie was always grateful for that. She didn't want to have to deal with the chatter of her fellow classmates when she was trying to spend time with Alex.<p>

It was only a little past nine but she wasn't too worried about the other girl not showing up. She drummed her fingers idly on the table listening to the quiet music playing through the speakers on the ceiling. The door finally opened revealing a young pledge, much more composed than she was over an hour ago.

"Alex, over here," she called out to her although the other girl could have easily found her after a quick scan of the place. She walked over and started looking nervous again and Mitchie knew exactly why. "Please don't say every detail about me." Alex raised an eyebrow in a questioning manner.

"But…I'm supposed to whenever I first see one of you guys." She internally groaned knowing that her sisters have carried on that completely useless, and annoying, rule for the pledges this year.

"Don't worry I'm not going to make you do that. Your tasks are done today, Alex. This has nothing to do with pledging. This is just two friends hanging out." The young pledge's heart practically melted upon hearing Mitchie Torres actually refer to her as one of her friends. It's true they have met before and have spoken on several occasions, even if Alex was almost completely incapable of getting through a conversation without stuttering or getting nervous, but they have never actually hung out one on one. She thought they were close acquaintances at most.

"Oh, okay."

"What do you want? I'll go order for us," she offered politely but Alex had other things in mind. Rather than keeping up this incompetent persona she decided to speak up and actually show she wasn't entirely…well, retarded.

"No it's okay, I'll get it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah don't worry about it. I'll be right back." She took off before Mitchie could even register what was going and that she never actually told Alex what she wanted. She sat and waited and not even two minutes later the teenager returned with two cups. "French vanilla, black, three sugars," she stated almost completely confident that she didn't screw up the older girl's drink order. "Right?" Mitchie stared at her with a mixture of astonishment and a little bit of admiration. It was remarkable the amount of information these girls had to remember. And Alex's ability to recall even the smallest details was without a doubt impressive.

"Wow…how do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"How do you…know everything?" She just shrugged, as if the learning process _wasn't_ the most time consuming and irritating process. It was worse than cramming for finals.

"We had to learn it. They make us serve you guys and wait on you hand and foot."

"Still…that's amazing," she complimented and Alex had to think quick to distract the older girl from noticing her cheeks reddening again.

"Oh, here's your hoodie. Thanks again for letting me borrow it." It hadn't even been that long but Mitchie had completely forgotten she gave her sweater to her. To be honest, she would have just let her keep it.

"Anytime, I just feel bad, you know? The Green Mile just becomes more and more brutal. I don't even know why we call it that because it's more than a mile."

"What was it like when you were a pledge?" she asked even though she didn't expect much of an answer in return. It was universal that no one was to know about what goes on during pledging until one experiences it.

"It was just like it is for you…but not as bad. I don't agree with the whole process. It's just…cruel."

"So you had to run too?"

"Oh yeah, except sometimes we had to _run the gauntlet_. It's like…you know how you have to run and if it rains you have to run again?" she started as Alex nodded and listened on with both fascination and a little fear. "Well they never made us run in the rain but to make it harder they would throw shit at us."

"Like…literal shit?" the young girl inquired not entirely seriously but she wouldn't put it past the older girls. Mitchie let out a short laugh.

"No although I'm surprised they didn't. At best they'd throw food or something. At _worst_, they'd throw ice water or baby oil and sometimes even _rotten_ food. Try running with that smell. You'll double over and vomit before you even finish." Alex grimaced at the thought of the girl in front of her overcoming the same obstacles she was currently facing. "But this is just as bad. If it doesn't rain they hose the fields because they _want_ you to fall."

"I figured they wanted to make it harder but running _every day_?" Her legs ached just thinking about it and knowing she had to do it all over again the next day made it worse.

"It's tradition. That's the one thing that they always do no matter what."

"But…_why_? What's the point of it?"

"Perseverance." Her answer was delivered with a certain firmness in her tone that didn't go unnoticed by the younger girl sitting across from the table. Mitchie never agreed with the methods but the message was one she was all too familiar with and that is why she held her own and kept on going two years ago. "Are you gonna keep at it?" she asked secretly hoping her friend would show the same resolve she did when she was her age.

"I have to."

"Why's that?"

"I just have to." Her answer came with no further explanation but Mitchie didn't bother to pester the girl for more information. But her determination was commendable.

"I understand; I was the same way. So what brings you to UNT anyway? You from Denton?" She couldn't help but wonder about Alex. She wanted to know as much about the girl as much as she did about her.

"No I'm from a pretty small town that might as well not exist."

"Where's that?"

"Pilot Point," she informed her only to be met with Mitchie's confused face. "Exactly. It's about an hour up north from here. There's really not much to it."

"I hear ya, my hometown's the same. Little Elm, it's not _that_ far from here. It's a bit out east near Dallas but like you said…not much to it. It's a quiet, little place but…it's just not for me." Alex nodded in understanding, content with the newfound similarities they have. It was nice to meet someone else with the same background…well, _almost_ the same. Alex was sure to not reveal her past in its entirety to the junior. That was a road she refused to go down.

"I know what you mean. I'm only here because I needed to find a good college that wasn't that expensive so…University of North Texas it was. What about you?"

"You mean you don't already know that about me?" she teased but still earned yet another blush from the already nervous teenager. "I couldn't really afford anything else either. I just want to graduate, get a job, and make enough money to get the hell out of here," she admitted and Alex was actually a little stunned at how alike they really were. Never in her life had she met someone who wanted the exact same things as she did. "I just feel like there's more out there than this, you know?"

"Trust me, I know. I just wish I didn't have to get hypothermia in the process," she half joked although she was sure if she kept this up she was going to get sick in no time.

"Honestly…the run is the least of your worries.

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><p>Saturday played out the perfect scene for the Alpha Delta Pi house to host a party, one where the pledges had no choice but to attend. Normally, they wouldn't be opposed to joining in the festivities. But tonight, however, the young hopeful group of girls wished that they were anywhere but that house.<p>

Not a single pledge in sight went unnoticed as all of the sisters kept close watch to make sure each and every girl had a drink in their hand…and that they drank every last drop of it. A brunette in the corner watched on in disappointment but that was nothing new.

Most of the sorority members were drinking as well, some were even drunk, but the pledges had no hope. It was probably the cruelest task to be performed and Mitchie dreaded this day. She had hoped this wouldn't happen again and after her own traumatizing experience she did not even want to be in the house let alone encourage what was going on around her.

Alex was truly out of her comfort zone here. Never one to go out and party and drink the night away, she was having a difficult time stomaching the strong beverages constantly being handed to her. Since the party began…_hours_ ago, she had lost track of her total alcohol consumption. The party started sometime in the afternoon and all she knew was that the sun went down a while ago.

"Hurry up and finish we got another one already waiting," the blonde said to the teenager practically falling asleep while standing up. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to focus and think clearly before opening them again. "You need to build up your tolerance."

"I'm…I'm trying but there's…there's a…a lot in…um, my…uh, my cup." Alex actually congratulated herself for finishing her sentence at all but frowned when she noticed that her cup was in fact empty…which meant she was due for a refill. "Oh…never mind."

"About time…here you go," Cassie said as she switched Alex's empty cup with a new one. All it took was one sip for her spit it back out. Her drink has magically turned from beer into something a lot stronger and she had no idea how it had happened.

"Ugh, what is this?"

"Vodka…and…some other things." The blonde's tone was back to holding that ruthless tenor and it actually frightened Alex a little bit. "Have fun." She and a couple of her sisters left the clearly intoxicated pledge alone to finish yet another drink. She sighed but it came out almost like a groan. She really felt like she couldn't handle anymore.

"Alex." She couldn't tell if someone was actually calling out her name or if she was just imagining things. She wasn't used to being drunk at all and this was all too confusing for her. Regardless, she continued to sip away. The fruity mixer stirred into it made it slightly more appealing than the beer. "Hey, slow down with that. Mixed drinks can be dangerous."

"Ohhh look it's Mitchie! Twenty one year old junior from Little Elf and drinks black coffee and works at the bookstore and drives a black Honda Accord and-" She clamped a hand over the babbling girl's mouth and laughed despite the absolute empathy she felt.

"That was actually almost completely right. I drive a Honda Civic…and it's elm not elf. But still…bravo." Little did Mitchie know the younger girl learned most of what she knew about her simply from paying close attention whenever she would talk to her. She didn't have to spend hours memorizing details about her; she _wanted_ to know more.

"What can I say? I'm brilliant," she slurred somewhat cockily to which Mitchie furrowed her brows.

"Like I said, slow down. Please? You've been drinking since two."

"So it's been like…a few hours?"

"It's been eleven, actually. They don't force you to drink as much during the day so you can last until the night. That's when they start torturing you with drink after drink after drink, each of them getting stronger than the last."

"I don't even taste the burn anymore."

"I know, that's why it's dangerous. You don't realize how much booze you're taking. You don't drink much do you?" She shook her head not even afraid of looking lame in front of the older girl. "Find me when you're done with this one. I'm gonna give you your next drink." Not thinking much of it, Alex agreed. She had no choice but to take whatever they gave anyway.

"You got it, babe!" She saluted the junior and walked off in search for her fellow pledges. Mitchie shook her head at the retreating girl. She found her both innocent and kind of feisty…and mysteriously adorable. And she didn't like watching the girl harm herself with more alcohol than she was used to, which apparently was none.

"Cass!" she shouted hoping somewhere in the house the blonde would hear her. Not even five seconds later, the girl she was looking for made herself present, her two lackeys flanking her.

"Hey Mitch I've barely seen you all day. This really is so much more hysterical when it's not us, right?" Her nostrils flared a bit in anger as her jaw set, holding back the urge to scream at the slightly taller girl.

"This isn't funny. It wasn't when it was us and it's not now. What did you give Alex?" she asked knowing that alcohol and fruit juice weren't the only two ingredients in the plastic cup she was holding.

"Who?"

"Alex!" she shouted pointing to the girl looking like she was in a world of her own even though she was engaged in a conversation with another girl.

"Oh her…vodka and apple juice."

"…_And_?

"Grenadine." She knew for a fact that the list wasn't over. She stared at her sister until she finally confessed. "And NyQuil." If she wasn't angry before she was way past that now. Mitchie was full blown enraged and she could strangle the blonde with her bare hands.

"What! You mixed her drink with cough syrup! That could kill her!" She didn't know whether she should continue yelling or go find Alex to stop her from drinking or cry or all three. Her sisters have done some low things but this could be potentially fatal.

"Relax it wasn't _that_ much but we didn't think she would last this long."

"Oh so you're _trying_ to knock her out?" The other girls shared a laugh, obviously not understanding the severity of the situation they had caused.

"Oh would you lighten up? This is no worse than when we were pledges."

"Do you not remember what happened when we were pledges! And what about last year, huh? Some of these girls can barely walk!" she shouted but tried to calm her nerves. If she started thinking about that night a year ago then she was sure to start having an anxiety attack. "Making them drink is one thing but I'm not going to stand here and watch you guys kill them."

"You're either with us or against us, Mitchie. And I think you know what happens when you're against us. Now I think you're little friend over there is almost done. Wouldn't want to leave her empty handed now would you?" She knew she was stuck between a rock and a hard place but it didn't make her feel any better. But she wasn't about to be the one to single handedly force the nineteen year old that she has grown so fond of into an early grave.

"Fine," she said bitterly before walking into the kitchen to fill up another red cup. She headed straight to Alex before another one of her sisters could get the opportunity to harm her any further. Cassie and the other two were already on their way, most likely to make sure Mitchie went through with it. She took the cup out of the girl's hand once she was standing in front of her and leaned in close before she could ask any questions. "It's just ginger ale but tell me it tastes like cream soda," she whispered but the way she said it made it sound like an order rather than a simple request. But something told Alex to just go with it no matter how odd it sounded.

"Okay," she agreed and took a sip from the cup carefully, almost fearing the contents of it. To her surprise it seemed to really be just ginger ale.

"Oh I see Mitchie's got you covered." Cassie peered into the cup subtly but couldn't quite figure out what the pledge was drinking. As if on cue, Alex piped up at what she figured was just the right moment.

"What is this? It tastes like cream soda." She was so intoxicated she would have sounded confused no matter what and Mitchie was relieved she wouldn't have to worry about Alex's lying abilities.

"What did you give her?"

"Captain Ginger," Mitchie quickly answered before Alex can slur out something unintelligible that could possibly give them both away.

"Wow, after beer and vodka you give her rum? That's brilliant," she laughed deviously at her suspected cruelty but Mitchie had to keep her temper under control. She was content knowing Alex would be fine for the time being with her nonalcoholic drink.

"Don't worry, her next one's gonna be stronger." That seemed to appease her sisters and they took off to terrorize another group of pledges on the other side of the house. "Are you okay?"

"Mm…I don't…I don't think so." She looked downright terrible. Her eyes were glassed over and to Mitchie it did not look like anyone was home. She knew that if she had one more drink it was game over for her. And she would do anything to make sure she didn't get to that point. That is, if she wasn't already too late.

"Listen…drink that as slowly as you can. When you're almost done come find me. I don't want you to drink anything from anyone else, okay?" She nodded her head blindly not entirely sure of what she was agreeing to but she liked the way Mitchie's voice sounded in her ears.

"Anything for you," she professed before ungracefully placing her hand atop the older girl's shoulder. "Hang on…I'm gonna tell ya something…you're…_really_ nice. But everyone else here…_sucks_. But shhh don't tell them I said that." The young pledge clearly was past thinking clearly because she normally wouldn't dare lay a finger on Mitchie. Her shyness around the junior hadn't faded even after hanging out more frequently since their trip to the local coffee shop. She only seemed to grow more nervous as her feelings continued to grow stronger.

"Do you wanna go outside; get some fresh air or something? The cold might be good for you right now." Although the house was spacious it was filled to its maximum capacity with the college students. Luckily for Alex, she was too drunk to realize that this should be making her the bashful wreck she normally feels like when she's alone with Mitchie.

"Um…okay." She would follow her into a blizzard or an oncoming apocalypse if she had to. She just wanted to spend more time with the older brunette.

"C'mon let's go." She reached forward and took Alex's hand in hers trying her hardest to ignore the increasingly pleasant and warm feeling as their palms pressed against each other. She pulled the intoxicated girl along behind her as she made their way to the backyard of the house. A cool breeze instantly blew past them but Alex didn't seem to look any better. She brought the rim of the cup up to her lips before Mitchie gently pulled it away from her.

"But I have…I have to keep…drinking or I'm gonna…and you said this was just ginger ale…and…"

"It _is_ just ginger ale but the sugar's gonna make you sick," she explained already afraid of what her previous drink might have done to her friend. She was fully aware of how sugary grenadine was. The sickly sweet red syrup would be enough to send any diabetic into shock. No doubt it was used to mask the taste of the cold medicine.

"I already feel sick," the younger girl informed her. "Everything's kinda…spinny."

"Here, come to the side of the house I don't want them to see if you throw up." The freshman nodded her head weakly and once again followed the other brunette without really knowing what was going on. But the second they made it to their destination she felt like her stomach was trying to rip itself out of her body and she couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Mitchie, I-" Her sentence was cut short as all of the alcohol she had consumed traveled back up through her throat and she began vomiting onto the grass. Mitchie breathed out a long sigh but not out of frustration or disgust but out of relief. Perhaps she won't have to relive her sophomore year all over again.

"It's okay Alex, just let it all out." She brought her hand to the younger girl's upper back and started a slow, circular motion until she was sure she was done throwing up. She stood back up and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "Better?"

"I dunno." Her speech was still incredibly slurred and her eyes had tears in them from puking so hard. Mitchie's heart broke at the sight and wanted to get the girl out of this house and into her own dorm, safe from the wrath of her sisters. The party inside had so many people in it, she was sure that no one would notice their absence.

"I'm gonna take you back to your room, okay?"

"What? No…I…I need to s-stay or-"

"Don't worry about them Alex, I'm not letting this happen to you."

"Let what happen to…who?" Mitchie didn't have time to explain her apprehension to the intoxicated pledge and she instructed her to wait right where she was so she could go inside and retrieve her things. Alex's dorm was across campus, she had learned a few days ago when the freshman finally thought she was able to handle having the other girl in her room.

She found where she had left her keys and had a quick debate on whether or not she should drive. She hadn't been drinking _that_ much and the drive to the other side wouldn't take such a long time. They would be fine.

She hurried back outside all while staying hidden from the other sorority members but found the side of the house to be completely unoccupied. In her drunken state Alex had forgotten what Mitchie had told her and wandered back into the party.

With another long sigh, this time out of frustration, she immediately headed back in search of the nineteen year old. Meanwhile, Alex was busy looking for the older brunette but was finding it near impossible with her vision slowly going. Her motor skills didn't seem to be any better, stumbling over just about everything and nothing in her way.

Mitchie scanned the room but didn't find who she was looking for. She was about to go up the stairs when she tripped over something behind the couch. Alex, unmoving and face down, was lying on the hardwood floor. In an instant Mitchie's heart rate picked up and began to panic. It _was_ sophomore year all over again.

"Shit, no, no, no, c'mon Alex!" she said to the unconscious girl beneath her but no response was given. She shook her and even slapped her face a couple times but she stayed the same, her eyes closed and her body limp. "Please, just wake up, _please_." Her begging wasn't going to do her any good and she soon felt her panic turn into blind anger.

She should have known this was going to happen. The young pledge was way in over her head. Never having much to drink before, she was forced to drink herself into a coma; that is…if she was still alive. Mitchie turned her over and her shaking hand reached out to check the teen's pulse and nearly cried when she felt something.

With her keys in her pocket she slipped her arms behind the girl's back and legs and used all the strength she had in her to lift the small body and carry her out of the house. Not a single person cared or even acknowledged the two leaving. They didn't even notice when Alex had passed out; they just walked right past her as if she were some homeless person on the street.

Mitchie placed Alex in her car and immediately took off towards campus. She didn't take her all the way to her dorm though. She stopped at the main entrance to the university and pulled out her cell phone and in near hysterics called for an ambulance.

* * *

><p>The drive to Denton Community Hospital was not a long one but Mitchie wanted to make sure Alex was safe so she didn't want to risk driving her there herself. She sat in her room next to the bed the girl was laying on, firmly grasping her hand in hers. Tears had persistently fallen from her eyes the entire time she waited.<p>

"Mm…M-Mitchie?" The smallest voice, hoarse and tired, called out to the broken girl resting her head on the edge of the hospital bed. She sat up and cried all over again after seeing those brown eyes staring back at her.

"Oh my God, Alex, thank god you're okay," she breathed out but the tears didn't slow. She stood up and wrapped an arm tightly but gently around the younger girl, never letting her hand go.

"Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital. They had to pump your stomach…you weren't waking up." Her voice was trembling and she spoke with fear laced in her voice. She was sitting next to her, alive and okay, but Mitchie was beyond shaken up.

"Oh…what are _you_ doing here?" she asked the junior curiously. She was sure no one would have wanted to stick around with anyone let alone her after last night. But Mitchie didn't understand her confusion. Why _wouldn't_ she be here?

"Are you kidding? I had to know that you were okay…or…alive."

"But…why?"

"Alex…I wasn't going to just leave you. I care about you." Her words sent an unfamiliar feeling of comfort to Alex. She didn't believe that someone like Mitchie would care about someone like her.

"You do?"

"Of course I do. I never wanted you to get hurt and if something happened to you I…I just…Alex, I can't go through that again."

"What do you mean, again?" The junior took a deep breath and prepared herself, not wanting to start crying again.

"A year ago…during pledging, they made the girls go to a party like last night's. Um…one girl, she wasn't used to drinking so much. She drank _too_ much and she couldn't handle it but…but no one paid attention to how bad she was. They thought she just passed out and fell asleep on the couch in the middle of the night. It wasn't until the next morning that someone finally realized that she wasn't breathing. We just kept walking right past her not even knowing that she was dead the whole time." Mitchie's voice began breaking and try as she might, she could not stop her tears from returning once again. "The only reason they didn't shut down the sorority was because we didn't have the party at the house so no one knew it was for pledging. But she _died_, Alex. No matter where it happened…she still died."

"Mitchie…" Alex didn't know what to say to the distressed girl in front of her.

"And last night I was so scared that was going to be you."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, please, don't be sorry. I just…I _hate_ what we do to you girls."

"I never even wanted to be in this sorority but…I have no choice."

"What do you mean?" Mitchie wiped her eyes before leaning back into her seat. She felt a connection with the young pledge since the moment they met. She couldn't deny that she had developed feelings for her but she felt like the girl was a closed book. She knew all these specific details about her but the junior could not for the life of her come up with one fact about the teen's life.

"My mom was a member when she went to UNT and it's pretty much her _dream_ to have me follow in her footsteps."

"Your mom was in the sorority?" She nodded. "No way, so was mine. That's why I pledged too; she wanted me to. The sorority isn't bad, I swear. I just cannot stand the pledging process. It's cruel and evil what we put you guys through but once all of that's over it's like…you really are part of a whole new family." Alex's walls she had spent years building were slowly breaking apart and this time she was doing it on her own. She wanted to let the older girl in. No one has shown that they care so much and Mitchie has been there for Alex since the beginning of pledging.

"I know the process is hard but…I can't give up."

"Alex…you almost drank yourself to death…"

"No, you don't understand. I've never had a real family. I grew up with only my mom, no one else. And I…I always felt like I wasn't good enough for her." Mitchie didn't say anything. She felt like there was more to the story and she was going to be supportive no matter what. "Have you ever felt like you just…don't belong?"

"I do, actually." Alex found it hard to believe someone as popular and attractive as Mitchie could have trouble fitting in anywhere. She seemed like the type of person everyone wanted to be around. "At home I felt that way, kinda like you, it's like my mom has these high standards and I just can't live up to them. That's why I just want to stay in Alpha Delta Pi to satisfy her, graduate and get the hell away from here."

"Yeah, exactly. I just…I don't want to join but on the other hand I just want to be…I don't know, accepted somewhere I guess."

"Don't worry, you're probably gonna get in."

"Not like that." She sighed and looked straight into the junior's eyes, seeing nothing but compassion and understanding. She knew in her heart she could trust this girl. There was no reason to be afraid this time. "I didn't have a lot of friends back home; I was pretty much…bullied all throughout high school." She didn't have to ask, the younger girl knew Mitchie was curious as to why. "Because…I'm gay. And…I just don't want to have to deal with that pain I felt all over again now." The twenty one year old was still holding the small, weak hand in hers and she gave it a reassuring squeeze to let her know that it was okay. Everything would be okay for her.

"I know the girls seem like the spawn of Satan but they're really nice once this whole mess is over with. They won't judge you for something like that, trust me."

"How do you know?" The fear kept coming back but it was almost a habit for Alex to be afraid of rejection no matter who it was from.

"I just do…besides, they don't judge me. I think you'll be fine." Her gesture was followed by a smile that helped tear down Alex's walls just a little bit more. The two had a lot more in common than they had originally thought. For the first time in Alex's life she felt like she didn't have to hide or be ashamed of who she was. And she wasn't alone.

* * *

><p>The two students had gotten significantly closer once the teen was released from the hospital, spending more and more time together. Alex even almost completely stopped being nervous around the junior. Mitchie was growing fonder of the young girl as the days progressed. She found herself always making time to be alone with her as well as discretely helping her out with pledging.<p>

"You did great in the run today. I can't believe you were the first one back." Both girls sat down on the freshman's bed in her single room. Alex had finished the run before all the other pledges and did so without falling this time. She felt accomplished not only because she didn't hurt herself but she wanted to impress the older girl.

"Thanks. I owe it to you; you were right, I don't pick my feet up enough when I run."

"See, I told you that's why you slip." Alex went to the closet in her room and retrieved a small towel to dry her hair of the excess rain dripping from it. Mitchie, on the other hand, was completely dry, having brought an umbrella to watch her favorite pledge run.

"I really don't know what I would have done without you throughout this whole thing." Her words floated through the junior's ears as if it were just white noise. She couldn't focus on anything other than the soaking wet green and white UNT t-shirt and navy shorts that clung to the girl's body. "…even though I know you could get in trouble but…Mitchie?" Mitchie snapped out of her daze when she realized that the younger girl had been talking this whole time she was staring at her.

"I'm sorry…what did you say?"

"I was just telling you how much I appreciate you helping me even though it's against the rules or whatever."

"It's no problem at all." She hadn't felt butterflies since she was a senior in high school but Mitchie was sure that the warm feeling in her chest and the pit of her stomach was something similar to that. "Pledging is almost over anyway. There's another party and then a final run before anything becomes official."

"I can't believe I'm almost done. I never thought I would be able to get through it."

"I keep telling you, you don't give yourself enough credit. You really are amazing, Alex," she said before she could actually process her thoughts. She didn't care though; it was the truth and the other girl deserved to hear it. Alex thought she was past being nervous around the junior but she felt her shy self reemerging as a blush crept up on her once again.

"Thanks." She didn't think she could handle being this close to Mitchie, especially with the way she was looking into her eyes. It made her even more nervous and she was afraid she might do something to mess everything up. She made a move to get up from her spot on the bed to get away but Mitchie's hand carefully flew to her wrist to hold her in place.

"Wait." She had been trying to build up the courage to just go for it and kiss the girl for some time now and she didn't want to stall any longer. She gently pulled Alex back down to her level and in one swift motion, connected their lips in a soft, but lingering, kiss. When they pulled apart the freshman's cheeks were burning brighter than ever and it made Mitchie smile. "You know, you're _really_ cute when you're being shy." Of course, this only caused Alex's blush to deepen even further.

"Really?" Mitchie nodded with assurance and conviction. She had never been surer of anything in her life; Alex Russo was a remarkable girl, sweet and adorable with a whole lot of heart. "No one's ever called me that before." After years of torment and being torn down by the kids in her school Alex felt overwhelmed by the affection, but enjoyed it nonetheless.

"Well, it's true." In that moment, Alex destroyed the remainder of the shell she had always hidden in. The reserved and scared girl from back home needed to be left behind for good. And Mitchie had helped her do just that. She boldly cupped the side of the older brunette's face and leaned down to kiss her again.

The silent confession of weeks of admiration eased the ache in Mitchie's heart that she might not feel the same, but she no longer had to worry. Neither of them did. No matter what this turned into they were aware it had to be well hidden for the time being but they were too happy to care. For the first time they both felt what they hadn't felt in a long time; to feel like they were good enough for someone else.

* * *

><p>After a couple more days had passed, Mitchie had found herself almost entirely enamored with the young girl. She knew that only a few weeks is not nearly long enough to truly be in love but she did care for her deeply and was surely infatuated to say the least. She was afraid, however, that her sisters would find out.<p>

She wouldn't care if the entire world knew, just _after_ pledging was over. She wasn't ashamed of Alex, not in the least bit. But getting involved with a pledge was more or less a death sentence in this sorority and any perpetrator would be punished.

Mitchie knew better than anyone else the penalties faced for treating pledges like equals let alone being kind to them. She had suffered on more occasions than one for her benevolence which was ironic to the junior but she didn't let it stop her…_most_ of the time.

"Mitchie, we need to talk to you." A threatening voice echoed through the kitchen of the Alpha Delta Pi house where Mitchie was currently standing.

"Uh…okay, about what?" Her reply was nonchalant yet she was experiencing a whirlwind of panic on the inside. Last time they _needed to talk _it was because she was going to be chastised.

"A couple of the other girls were noticing you getting a little…_close_ with the Russo girl. You guys becoming pretty good friends?" The beating around the bush was nothing new coming from Cassie but Mitchie was aware that this could end horribly if she didn't talk her way out of it.

"I don't know; she's cool I guess," she responded as if she didn't think about the other girl every day and want to kiss her again and...

"Well…Jenna said she saw you two at Mia's the other night…kissing." Words could not be formed for the life of her as Mitchie struggled to keep her eyes from widening. Last night she and Alex had gone out on an attempt at a legitimate date. Apparently it had not gone as well as they thought it did. Before she could come up with a good enough lie to cover her slip up, the blonde started talking again. "I'm impressed, Mitchie." And she was back to being speechless.

"You are?"

"Yeah, are you kidding me? I didn't think you had it in you to mess with the pledges on your own but this is _genius_." Mitchie froze yet again. She thought she was _messing_ with Alex? She was stunned and quite frankly extremely appalled that she would assume such a thing. Was it so unbelievable that she had genuine feelings for the younger girl? Is this the kind of cruelty Alex was used to and had to face in her other school?

"Um…thanks." The blonde's slight laughter died and a serious atmosphere surrounded the girls.

"That _is_ what you're doing…right?" It made sense to Mitchie now. She didn't truly believe she would intentionally hurt someone even though she has in the past, regrettably. But if there were any real feelings developing between the two girls than Cassie wanted it to end now. And the only way to do that is to crush the girl.

"Right, of course it is. Like you said, it's only fair that they suffer like we did." She was lying through her teeth but if it would get her sisters off of her back for the time being then she would say or do just about anything.

"Good, because we have…a plan…for you to carry out." Mitchie knew deep down that this was going to end horribly whether she had a say in it or not.

"What kind of plan?"

"Nothing _too_ major…just something for the Alpha Delta Pi party coming up. We'll keep you updated on what you need to do. This is going to be the best party we've ever thrown."

* * *

><p>Mitchie reluctantly but successfully avoided Alex the rest of the day and the young girl was beginning to wonder why the sudden cold shoulder. She was also beginning to wonder why the older girls hadn't been insulting her and ordering her around as much as the other pledges. She didn't know if the two had any connection but she wasn't too thrilled about it.<p>

More time passed and it was time for the final party of the pledging period. The younger girls weren't forced to drink this time and Alex was relieved beyond belief because she refused to go anywhere near an alcoholic beverage tonight. She was enjoying herself but she missed a certain brown haired twenty one year old.

After finally opening up to someone about her past and her fears she was scared of Mitchie leaving her. The only person she really had to confide in has been ignoring her and it made her upset and just a little uneasy. She looked around the room for the girl she had grown quite attached to before a hand grasped her shoulder from behind.

"Hey, Alex…" The sweet angelic voice of her…_was_ she her girlfriend? They never established anything but up until Mitchie's recent disappearing act they spent every second together and kissed frequently.

"Mitchie…where've you been?" She didn't know if she meant where has the girl been tonight or the past couple of days but she would accept an answer to either.

"I'm sorry for being kind of absent lately I didn't mean to just ignore you."

"It's okay." Alex was upset but seeing the older brunette in front of her now made all that unhappiness fade away.

"I know it's only been a day or two but, for what it's worth, I've missed you," she told the pledge genuinely but the unsettling feeling in her stomach would not leave the junior no matter how hard she tried.

"I've missed you too." Alex wished they weren't in that house, surrounded by people that would scold them for wanting to kiss each other in that exact moment.

"Let's go out back," she suggested without waiting for affirmation from the other girl and grabbed her by the hand and pulled her away from the crowd. Once they were outside and alone Mitchie closed the gap between them and crashed their lips together. The want was indisputable but all she wanted to do was leave right away.

"Wait, stop, what if someone sees us?" Alex asked, pulling away for just a moment.

"Don't worry everyone's inside." She wasted no time and grabbed the freshman by the face and pulled her back in for a searing kiss. This kiss was different from all the other ones they had shared. This one had more urgency in it, more hunger and passion and all around lust. It was certainly something Alex had never experienced before but she wasn't complaining.

Their kiss heated up at a rapid pace and soon their hands were roaming all over each other. Neither of them cared that the party was still happening just a short walk away from them. They were not in direct sight of the back entrance anyway. It's not like anyone could actually see them from the house.

As Mitchie moved her mouth to the pledge's neck, Alex let out an involuntary soft moan of pleasure and was lost in a trance. She sucked harder before moving her hands from the girl's back under her shirt to the front where the buttons held it together. Slowly but surely, she began to undo them one by one until the flannel shirt that Alex was wearing was now open, exposing her black bra.

"Mitchie…" she half-moaned half-whispered to the junior sucking on the side of her throat. "We're…we're still outside."

"It's okay…no one will see us," she assured the girl and felt bile rising up from her stomach and into her chest. When she didn't hear any further protest she carefully slipped the soft, plaid shirt from the younger girl's arms until she was just in her jeans and bra. Alex was too hypnotized by the older brunette's lips to think rationally anyway.

She moved back to kiss Alex's lips and held the tears that were threatening to form in her eyes. She kissed her with everything she had in her and she hated herself for it. She opened one eye and looked at her surroundings. It was dark out and they were the only two in the yard. She noticed the girl in her arms had her eyes shut and it took everything in her to continue. She looked up towards the upper level of the house before closing her eyes again and pulling back slightly from Alex.

"Please forgive me," she whispered desperately into her ear and without giving her the chance to properly react she pushed the pledge off of her with great force. The shove was strong enough to send her to the ground but Alex's balance had improved significantly over the past few weeks with all the running through wet grass and other obstacles.

"What are you-" Before the teenager could finish her question the yard was suddenly illuminated as the porch light turned on. Confused, she turned around to see the girls in the house had gathered to the back door and remembered that she was still without a shirt. Her oncoming panic was cut short when something cold and wet hit her from above.

She looked up at the upper deck and saw Cassie and another girl she knew to be named Jenna holding a bucket each directly above her. She held up her hands and saw that she was covered in what she could only assume was green paint. Not a second after did she feel something else hit her, this time…something softer. The floor beneath her was soon littered with the feathers that failed to stick to her body.

Alex stood motionless and tuned out everything around her; the bright light, the girls on the deck, and the rest of the sorority and even some of the other pledges laughing from inside the house. All she focused on was the girl standing a few feet away from her, deadpan and an emotionless face piercing the young teenager. She had set her up.

She kept telling herself not to cry. This wasn't even like high school. She had never felt so vulnerable, exposed, hurt and all around humiliated in her entire life. The bullies from back home were _nothing_ compared to this. And the one to blame for all of it was the one girl she thought she could trust.

She didn't think she could stand there any longer without screaming or crying or even slapping the older brunette in the face. She picked her discarded flannel shirt off the floor before turning away from everyone and leaving the house as fast as she could, finally allowing her tears to fall from her burning eyes.

* * *

><p>That night Alex had cried herself to sleep, regretting ever even submitting her application to the college at all. She wished she had gone to an entirely different school. She should have known Mitchie was too good to be true. People like her just couldn't get people like Mitchie. She let the girl in and was ultimately let down in the end, just like she had always been.<p>

Across campus, the older girl was no better. She was consumed with guilt and it refused to let her fall asleep. All she wanted to do was run back to the freshman's dorm and grovel and _beg_ for her forgiveness even though she was well aware that she absolutely did not deserve it. Not at all.

She couldn't believe she had let her sister manipulate her and force her to hurt one of the pledges again. She had been coerced into tormenting a couple of the girls last year and it was possibly the darkest time of her life. She was disgusted with herself even more so now because she had hurt someone she truly cared about.

Mitchie's guilt and hatred for herself forced her out of bed and into the living room of the Alpha Delta Pi house. A select few of her sisters were still up despite the late hour but she ignored them all as she headed straight for the front door. One blonde in particular, however, had other plans in mind.

"Where are you going? It's like quarter to three."

"None of your business."

"You're going to see that Russo girl, aren't you?" It was scary how she just knew every move she was going to make but the distraught and borderline miserable look on Mitchie's face was more than a dead giveaway.

"Just leave me alone. I have nothing to say to you."

"Oh don't act like the victim Mitchie. You knew what you were doing."

"No you _threatened_ me and that's the only reason I did it. You can't keep guilting me into doing this crap anymore. I won't do it. This isn't me; it's not who I am. I don't hurt people and I don't get how you can. Who gives a shit about what happened when we pledged? You remember how bad it was, why the hell would you want someone else to go through the same?" Her rage was finally breaking through after holding it in for so long and she no longer cared what her sisters would do.

"You pretend to be all high and mighty and above hazing but don't you remember you _killed_ someone?" At the blondes harsh words, Mitchie clenched her fists at her sides. She couldn't keep blaming herself and after being depressed because of it for a year she needed to stand up for herself.

"Fuck you Cass, that wasn't my fault!"

"You gave her the last drink she had before she passed out and _died_." Her words were almost taunting and it was making Mitchie want to tear her hair out and send her into another anxiety attack though she hasn't experienced one in a few months.

"You told me to do it! And like an asshole I listened to you! After that day I swore I would never do anything to hurt another pledge but now I hurt someone who actually means a lot to me." Cassie scoffed and crossed her arms against her chest. Her attitude was starting to wear Mitchie thin and she was going to snap any second.

"I _knew_ you liked her. From the beginning it was so obvious." Mitchie found herself at a loss for words. They had been planning this since pledging began. Alex was doomed from the start.

"_Why_? Cass, I know you're a good person. Why do you have to do this to them?" She was pleading with the taller girl in front of her. She wanted this to stop but knew that it was all wishful thinking.

"Because if someone can do it to me then I can do it to them. I don't care if you don't think it's fair because it is. And next year they'll do the same to the new pledges."

"Whatever, I'm not going to stick around here when I know someone is in their dorm room upset and miserable and probably crying because of us." She pushed past her sisters and headed once again for the front door.

"You're making a mistake, Mitchie."

"No, I'm not. The only mistake I made was letting you talk me into hurting Alex by threatening to tell everyone that I was responsible for Meghan's death. You can't hold that over me and you know it. Go ahead tell everyone. I don't care anymore." And with that she turned on her heel and slammed the door shut behind her.

She practically ran the entire distance across campus to the residence hall that housed the nineteen year old girl who she single handedly destroyed. She flew past security after showing proper student identification and bolted up the stairs not nearly patient enough to wait for an elevator. She sprinted all the way up to the seventeenth floor and she was exhausted but ignored it completely.

She banged on the door silently thanking God that Alex lived without a roommate. She didn't even care if she woke up the entire floor; she just needed to talk to her. She needed her to hear her apology. And she wasn't going to leave until she finally knew just how sorry she was. But that would require the younger girl to actually answer her.

"Alex! Open the door!" She banged and banged and banged relentlessly. On the other side, the sleeping pledge woke from the loud and irritating noise. Aggravated and still upset from before she reluctantly got out of bed and trudged her way to her door. When she finally opened it she rolled her eyes upon seeing who it was that disturbed her sleep.

"Oh, it's you. What do you want?" Her voice sounded bored but the anger was ever present in it as well. She looked a lot better than she did a few short hours ago. Sure it took a few tries but she managed to clean herself off completely.

"I want to apologize."

"Well I don't want to hear it, so bye," she stated firmly as she tried to shut the door on her unwelcomed guest but something stopped it from closing all the way.

"No, Alex, please just listen to me."

"Why the hell should I?"

"Because I'm sorry! I'm so unbelievably sorry. I know what I did was stupid and cruel but I never meant to hurt you. They knew about us and were going to do something whether or not I went along with it. But if I didn't then whatever they would have done would have been ten times worse." Both her explanation and her apology were sincere but the disappointment in Alex's eyes was worse than the junior could have ever imagined.

"They didn't hurt me, Mitchie…_you_ did." Ironically enough the older brunette was the one who had to refrain from crying. "I trusted you but this was all a game to you. You were just lying to me this whole time. I should have known you wanted nothing to do with some dumb little freshman."

"That's not true; this was never a game to me. I swear on my life it was never in my intention to hurt you. And I wasn't lying to you when I said I care about you."

"Why should I believe anything you say?" she asked furiously in a tone Mitchie has never heard her use before. She didn't even think the younger brunette was capable of yelling or getting angry. The junior was stuck and did the only thing she could think of to prove just how honest she was being. Without another word she grabbed both sides of Alex's face and crashed her lips into hers, kissing her as if her life depended on it. To her surprise, she felt the nineteen-year-old kiss her back but soon pulled away.

"I'm here, aren't I? I couldn't stand knowing you were upset because of me. And I hated that I actually let them talk me into it but I don't care anymore. I don't care what they do to me for even coming here." Her voice was getting weaker but she meant every word and somehow, Alex could sense the fear. "I know you believe I'm a terrible person but…I'm a lot worse than you think I am…" she trailed off as her tears returned to her, this time escaping her eyes and sliding down her face.

"What are you talking about?" Mitchie's trembling hand reached into her back pocket and retrieved her cell phone. She knew what she was about to do could possibly make the younger girl hate her even more but she was through with lying to her.

"You want me to be honest, I'm being honest. Nothing I have told you was a lie. And I would have never gone through with what I did tonight if Cassie and the others weren't constantly threatening me. Just…read this." She handed the pledge the device in her hand and she began scrolling through the text message conversation between Mitchie and the blonde.

"What is this?" She asked but as she began reading the words on the screen she found herself speechless. Back and forth the two sorority sisters went arguing with each other. Each message from the blonde was an order for Mitchie to follow through with the plan to tar and feather Alex at an upcoming party and every response was Mitchie adamantly refusing. It wasn't until she reached one text in particular did she finally look back up at the distressed junior.

"I didn't…I didn't want anyone to find out and the only way they would shut up about it is if I did what they wanted. That's all that this is about; loyalty. This sorority will push you and push you until you finally give up so they can see who will stick it out. They have nothing against you, Alex. They're just testing you but I can't keep going back to this. The only way it'll go away is if I just…come clean I guess."

"Mitchie…who's Meghan?"

"Remember the girl I told you about…at that party last year who drank too much and…died?" She nodded, already realizing the answer she was looking for. "That was Meghan. I…I gave her the last drink she had. Nothing was in but it…it was just too much for her." Slowly, Alex's tough exterior she tried to put up started to soften. The girl in front of her wasn't heartless and certainly wasn't the monster she believed herself to be. She was still the girl she met a few weeks ago.

"Mitch you can't think it was your fault."

"I have been living with this guilt for the past year but nothing is worse than knowing that I hurt you, Alex. I know we've only known each other for a few weeks and I know you don't believe me but I really do care about you."

"Why?" She couldn't understand it. All her life she has been ignored and dismissed by everyone in her life, even her own mother. And even if the older girl let a moment of weakness allow her to hurt her she really was the only person who has ever shown that they truly care about her.

"Because I like you…a lot. I've never met anyone like you Alex. I've never met someone that I had so much in common with or felt so…connected to, you know? You can't tell me you don't feel the same way," she challenged and Alex knew in her heart that the junior was right. And as much as she wanted to tell her off she could see why she went along with her sisters' plan. She sighed.

"You know I do."

"I know what I did was wrong and I shouldn't have set you up but is there any way you can forgive me?" She was conflicted but she couldn't deny the attraction she felt, the attraction she had always felt. Mitchie, deep down, really was a good person and despite what she thought she couldn't stay mad.

"Mitchie…" The right words to say escaped her. She knew a part of her told her that if she really cared she wouldn't have hurt her but another part told her that she was ultimately trying to protect them both. As torn as she felt she leaned in nervously and captured the older girl's lips in another kiss and it felt…right.

"So…I take it you forgive me?" Mitchie asked hopefully with a slight smile after breaking apart from the pledge.

"It's not worth it to stay mad at you. I spent all of my high school years upset and being angry at all the people that had hurt me but…none of them even mattered. None of them cared about me." Mitchie felt her heart finally start to beat again. Holding her breath ever since she arrived at the teenager's door, she sighed in relief at not only making things right with the girl but also helping her believe that she is cared about, something she hasn't believed probably her entire life. "Besides, if I get into Alpha Delta Pi it'd be kind of awkward if I hated you," she joked to lighten the mood a little bit but Mitchie's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"You're still going to pledge? They're going to push you till you completely break."

"I'll take my chances. Mitchie I already told you…I have to. Not just for my mom but…for me to. I need to finish this." Alex had run from her problems for too long. She was determined, like the sorority was trying to figure out if she was. She had something to prove to her mom, to herself, to the girls in the sorority, and to everyone that has ever tried to bring her down and tell her she wasn't good enough. And Mitchie understood that better than anyone.

"Then I'm going to help."

"No, you can't. I mean, look what happened when they found out…and I don't want them to trash your name by telling people about what happened last year."

"Alex, I don't care what they do to me anymore. If you're set on going through with it then I'm going to be here for you…the whole way this time."

"I don't know, Mitch…" The junior took the younger girl's hand in hers firmly and looked at her with both admiration and confidence.

"I promise. We'll get through it together." She offered a comforting smile and Alex nodded her head with the newfound security she felt. She didn't have to question it this time. Mitchie was willing to go against her sisters and break all the rules for her.

"Okay." She laced their fingers together and held on tightly for reassurance.

"And then…when this is all over," she started, finally being the nervous one out of the two for a change. "If you would let me, I want to take you out…on a real date." Their smiles mirrored each other and Alex even found herself blushing…again.

"I'd like that."

* * *

><p>The sun was nowhere in sight and the ground was still damp from the night before. The grass in the fields all around campus were soaked and slippery, making it that much harder for the group of worn out girls to sprint towards their destination. A certain nineteen year old Texas native pushed herself harder than she ever has in her life.<p>

Her running sneakers were black with a thick coat of mud as the rain beat down on the freshman. The drops of water blurred her vision and her legs burned with exhaustion but she kept running. When she tried to pick up her pace just a little bit more though she hit the ground wrong and soon she found herself on the floor.

Her knees stung beneath her and her ankle throbbed when she attempted to get back up. This was her final test. After being humiliated at the party a few days ago she had survived any task the sorority girls threw her way. And just like she had promised, Mitchie had stuck by her side the entire time, secretly aiding the young girl when she needed it.

She thought about giving up. With her arms pressed in the dirt she couldn't see herself making it through this one. She tried to catch her breath but a couple of girls passed by and continued on running. She was ahead of the rest but if she stayed down she would surely fail.

Mitchie stood in the front yard of the Alpha Delta Pi sorority house in just her skinny jeans and blue hooded sweatshirt, the three Greek letters written across it in white. The rain soaked through her clothes and her hair but the only thing on her mind was that one pledge that she had grown so fond of, the only pledge she wanted to see finish the run.

About half a mile away from the house, Alex was still on the cold ground clutching her hurt knee, her old wounds reopened. But as much pain as she was in she knew that she had to finish. She had spent weeks enduring torture just to make it and she wasn't about to quit now

She knew what was waiting for her at the end of the run. On this bid day the remaining girls had to complete this final task to be able to join the Alpha Delta Pi sorority. Freedom waited for her; the pledging and the hazing would all be over and she would finally be accepted by the older girls. What waited for her was what she had wanted so desperately for as long as she could remember. She would finally belong somewhere.

With her strong resolve she pushed her hands into the soil and forced herself back onto her feet. The sound of shoes running towards her gave her strength to move forward and begin her sprint, picking up her feet faster than ever, and she ran across campus. Her legs were hurt and tired but she didn't feel a thing and in no time she caught back up to the other pledges.

Mitchie stood with her arms folded against her chest anxiously awaiting the girls' arrival. When the first pledge made it back to the house, the junior started feeling nervous. But she had faith that Alex was strong enough to make it. More and more teenagers returned and she knew that there were only a few left to come back that would be accepted.

Just before all hope was demolished a sweating and disheveled brunette came running around the corner, her face red and clothes stained in grass and mud. The final thing waiting for Alex at the end broke out into a huge smile, pushing the wet hair out of her eyes, and opened her arms as the spirited young pledge arrived at her destination. The second her feet touched the front yard she collided into Mitchie's embrace.

"You did it," she said as she lifted the clearly exhausted girl off of the ground and spun her around once before setting her back down. Her legs wobbled a bit, both from running and from the junior's warm arms being wrapped around her.

"I can't believe it," she breathed out before dropping down to the grass to sit. All the running finally caught up to her and she lied down on the lawn and let the rain wash away the dirt and sweat off of her face. Mitchie kneeled down next to her.

"Well believe it, _pledge_. They think you were the toughest out of them all."

"Really?"

"You bet," she told her before she bent down to place a sweet kiss on the worn out girl's lips. When she pulled back Alex looked a little surprised.

"I know pledging is over but don't you think we should wait until everything with the sorority is official? I mean, I don't want them to say or do anything." Mitchie smiled and it was that same smile that made Alex think she was smirking at her but it made her melt all the same.

"I doubt they'll still care now but…I'll take my chances." She winked and kissed the teen once more, ignoring everyone around them. All she cared about was the girl lying in the grass who stole her heart in just a few short weeks. "So…how about that date? Or are you too tired?" The ache in Alex's entire body burned but she somehow managed to bring herself back into a sitting position. She looked up at the older brunette smiling down at her, intertwined their fingers, and felt all the pain subside.

"For you?" She wiped some excess water off of her face and pecked Mitchie on the lips and took a deep breath. This is what she was running towards this whole time. This is what she wanted…what she needed. "_I'll take my chances_."

* * *

><p><strong>This story was half inspired by the song and half inspired by a kid I used to know who died a few years ago from hazing. He was forced to drink all day long and he passed away that night. He was only nineteen when it happened. RIP, you were way too young and this shouldn't happen to anybody.<strong>


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